Dreaming

I had a disturbing dream last night. I dreamt I was having sex with my mother. Ya. I know. But that wasn’t the disturbing part. Mom’s actually pretty hot. And I think she digs me.

So we were having sex and neither of us were enjoying ourselves. As usual. And she was calling me Karl which was disconcerting because Karl is her brother’s name. And in the dream, someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and it’s an orthodox rabbi. Sitting right there at our table. At the Carnegie Deli. And he points at my plate and asks “Are you going to finish that?” I say “No. Go ahead. It’s yours.” and he flags down a waitress and sends the meal back claiming the lox was undercooked.

At that point, I awoke from the dream and discovered I was actually having sex with my girlfriend. And I was relieved for a moment. Until I realized we were at a table. At the Carnegie Deli. And sitting across from us was an orthodox rabbi who pointed at my girlfriend and asked “Are you going to finish that?” And I said “No. Go ahead. It’s yours.” And he flagged down a waitress and ordered 8 candles for what he was calling her “Labia Menorah”.

I should probably cut down on my Absinthe consumption.