Drake’s Cakes

I do my best to eat healthy. More often than not, I succeed. Today was a total disaster. All I could manage — nutritionally speaking — was a package of Ring Dings from the vending machine at the office.

Drake’s Cakes has succeeded in distributing crack in cake form. Maybe it’s not crack. Maybe it’s just devil’s food cake and creamy filling. Who can tell the difference?

Ring Dings. Devil Dogs. Yankee Doodles. Has anyone noticed these are all the same delicious treat in three different shapes? The Devil Dog gets its name honestly. It’s made of Devil’s food cake and is shaped like a hot dog. But — and here’s the rub — there’s sweet creamy filling where you’d expect there to be something loosely resembling meat. Yankee Doodles are nothing more than devil’s food cup cakes filled with the same white creamy goodness. Ring Dings are a little more of a puzzle. They’re shaped like… hockey pucks. Sweet, cream-filled hockey pucks in a chocolaty coating.

Note: The coating isn’tchocolate. Chocolate is almost a real food. Chocolaty coating is the same color as chocolate. It’s sweet. It’s a pleasure to consume — in small quantities. But it’s definitely not chocolate.

Personally, I think Drake’s could do a better job at naming their treats. Ring Ding isn’t a name you can relate to unless you’ve spent an inappropriate amount of time peering through the glass of a vending machine at a package you’ve paid for but that hasn’t quite fallen from the spiral dispensing apparatus. In keeping with the Devil’s Food theme — not to mention their shape and color — a better name might be Devil Pucks or — if alliteration is desired — Prince (of Darkness) Pucks. Just a thought.

Tomorrow, maybe I’ll try the Pop Tarts.

I do my best to eat healthy. More often than not, I succeed. Today was a total disaster. All I could manage — nutritionally speaking — was a package of Ring Dings from the vending machine at the office.

Drake’s Cakes has succeeded in distributing crack in cake form. Maybe it’s not crack. Maybe it’s just devil’s food cake and creamy filling. Who can tell the difference?

Ring Dings. Devil Dogs. Yankee Doodles. Has anyone noticed these are all the same delicious treat in three different shapes? The Devil Dog gets its name honestly. It’s made of Devil’s food cake and is shaped like a hot dog. But — and here’s the rub — there’s sweet creamy filling where you’d expect there to be something loosely resembling meat. Yankee Doodles are nothing more than devil’s food cup cakes filled with the same white creamy goodness. Ring Dings are a little more of a puzzle. They’re shaped like… hockey pucks. Sweet, cream-filled hockey pucks in a chocolaty coating.

Note: The coating isn’t chocolate. Chocolate is almost a real food. Chocolaty coating is the same color as chocolate. It’s sweet. It’s a pleasure to consume — in small quantities. But it’s definitely not chocolate.

Personally, I think Drake’s could do a better job at naming their treats. Ring Ding isn’t a name you can relate to unless you’ve spent an inappropriate amount of time peering through the glass of a vending machine at a package you’ve paid for but that hasn’t quite fallen from the spiral dispensing apparatus. In keeping with the Devil’s Food theme — not to mention their shape and color — a better name might be Devil Pucks or — if alliteration is desired — Prince (of Darkness) Pucks. Just a thought.

Tomorrow, maybe I’ll try the Pop Tarts.